Circles of Initiation

I've been meditating on levels of initiation. And times when there are things to say and times when there is nothing to say. Things crowd in and all sorts of thoughts, feelings, images, natural objects ... seem significant, or are imbued with significance. Then things clarify. What was a rush of significance resolves into something deeper, clearer, transparent: into knowledge. You've arrived. After all the things that were to say, to experience, to embrace, there is nothing .....

For a while you mark time. Your initiation feels complete. Until another level, a deeper circle within the Abyss, a higher zone on the Astral Plane, forms and opens new avenues for exploration. The enticing path through the Forest that you thought had come out into the light turns back into the trees again and the Forest beckons once more, darker, deeper, more significant than ever.

No-one can foresee this and tell you when it will happen. There are guides to point the way if you can recognise them. Guardians to warn you if you can hear their voices. But you are alone on the path. Only you can walk it. Only you can learn the lessons deep in the Forest. You?  Me  

The Dark Moon Rite

What I said in the last post about doing a Dark Moon rite has now come to pass. At Samhain last year I had an unexpected encounter with the Dark One and so this year  I planned an extended meditation from the 1st November for thirteen days until the Dark Moon. As the Moon waned this became more intense and I've kept a daily journal which I'm going to publish extracts from here. For the first few days, up until the last quarter, this was mainly finding time for quiet meditation and planning. I also had to get on with my daily routines, but I felt myself moving inward as the last quarter passed and the Dark Moon approached.

 I planned for a final period of three days when I could be alone at home and not have to consider anything else. At midnight before the first of the three days I prepared my altar and made a dedication of the coming time for the Dark One. As I meditated I felt the familiar shiver when things start happening and knew that I was  walking the Dark Land.  Heron had left a comment last time about initiation and he had posted a writing on his blog about The Washer at the Ford. I found myself thinking about this and had visions of coming to the Ford to meet her. Crossing the Ford was my way to her.

Although I had been up late, for some reason I woke early the next morning, before dawn. From the bathroom I noticed what looked like moonlight through the frosted glass. I went to another window at the back of the house which faces east. I saw the thin crescent of the Waning Moon low in the sky and a bright planet nearby, both had just risen. When I checked later I saw that the planet had to be Venus. I didn't expect to see the Moon again until she was waxing. But the sky had cleared overnight and there she was quite bright, with Venus too. I was overwhelmed. I'd thought of retreating into darkness but here was enchanting lights in the sky and the Goddess of Love looking down on me. And so what I thought would be a dark time of retreat turned out to be an intense but quiet time when I felt blessed by a light that is the other face of darkness.

Over the three days I walked in the woods, I read about the Crone, I meditated in the dark.  I have a wide circuit that I like to walk through the woods and over a hill. I usually do this clockwise, or sunwise, but I started the three days by walking it in the opposite direction. The plan was to walk it the usual way round as a 'return' from the dark retreat. On the last night I crossed the Ford. I have my record of the crossing but that will stay in my Book of Shadows. But the thing I want to say here is that I expected to pay a price for the crossing. And I did. But the physical things that could have gone wrong were few and all happened on the return journey. When I tried to open my bedroom curtains to let the light in on the morning of the last day I couldn't. A 'dream catcher' tied to the curtain rail was tangled up with the runners and they had jammed so I had to prise one off to open the curtains. Then I did my return walk. It was raining heavily but I had committed to do it so I did. The ground was wet and slippery and I had trouble on the hill and I was wet and muddy by the time I came back though the woods. I slipped and grabbed the first thing I  could for support. It was a bramble which cut my hand.

So I did pay a price. My final planned thing was a emergence bath. With candles and lavender oil. It was so welcome when I got back cold and wet and I came out of it  re-born. Or renewed. And there is just this to write up which I am now doing.

Blessed Be